Now I'm Miffed

Warner Bros., Silver Pictures

Warning: This film has been modified from its original version. Leave it to the inelegance of television censorship to ruin a perfectly good scene rendering it completely unwatchable. I understand, it's the holidays, lots of people are watching TV, many scenes of the 1987 Richard Donner classic, Lethal Weapon, needed to be cut or altered to suit the home audience. However, I would argue against rerecording the word 'pissed.' First of all, among the list of offenses in a movie full of shootouts, the word 'pissed' is pretty innocuous and second, the rerecorded version is so distracting, now I hear it over the original.

Let's go to scene: Martin Riggs has just flown through a store window after being shot. Fortunately, he's wearing his bullet proof vest, so after a tense moment, he comes to, pops up and exclaims to his partner, 'I'm pissed, Roger, now I'm pissed.' Unfit for TV, the verbal infraction was rerecorded to, 'I'm miffed, Roger, now I'm miffed.' Miffed...now I'm thinking of white gloves, fluffy cats or teddy bear tea parties. The ridiculous replacement successfully drained any impact in the statement and is now burned! burned! in my memory for all time. Thanks FCC, but I think this is a gift even Leo Getz would return.

Christmas MVP: Mariah Carey

Columbia Records

Picture this, second week of December, I'm on my way to work at a very early hour because, of course, every project needs to be completed before we break for the holidays. At 7am, I'm making good time on the freeway when Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas is You comes on the radio. I mean, that track is pure joy. Suddenly, pre-coffee even, I'm driving and singing at the very top of my lungs. Sad-faced commuters, ditch your bags of coal, it's the freakin' holidays! And it's freakin Mariah Carey with best damn feel good track of the holiday season! Yes, yes, and yes. When it comes to holiday music, I've spoken of the melancholy beauty that is A Charlie Brown Christmas, and the snap, crackly, pop of Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas but nothing, nothing beats the infectious, can't control myself, joy of Mariah's 1994 classic. Props to both Mariah and Walter Afanasief for writing this tune. No amount of work stress, holiday preparations or end-of-the-year reflections is a match for this sparkling hit! Gotta go now, gotta dance it out.

Happy 50th Anniversary, Charlie Brown!

Lee Mendelson Film Productions, United Feature Syndicate

On this day, A Charlie Brown Christmas special premiered on CBS in 1965. Despite a wide array of concerns – crude animations made in six months, characters voiced by children, a religious speech by a main character and a borderline melancholy soundtrack – it was an instant success and remains a classic staple today. I still love watching it every year.

In the film, I like that things are imperfect, that they don't always go Charlie Brown's way. And I like that he even gets a little down, because who doesn't get a little down, even for a moment, over the holidays? I actually don't mind it. At any other time of year, people try to turn that frown upside down, but around the holidays, for some reason, there's permission to be down. It's actually a relief, you can even roll around in it a bit before moving on. And there's no better pairing for such moods than the soundtrack created by Vince Guaraldi. Absolute magic. Longing and magic. It's like bracing the cold to walk the streets of a snowy New York before taking shelter in a cozy, near-empty bar that's been decorated for Christmas. Or maybe that's just me. Either way, thank you Mr. Charles M. Shultz and Vince Guaraldi for bringing us a little magic every year.