Dear White People Wastes No Time with Chill

Roadside Attractions, Lionsgate Televison, Netflix

Dear White People is the 10-episode Netflix series created, written and directed by Justin Simien, based on his film of the same name (episodes following the pilot were written and directed by several contributing creatives). We join Winchester University campus on the heels of the biggest scandal of the year, a blackface party held by the white-run humor/satire publication, Pastiche. Our provocateur is Samantha White (Logan Browning), outspoken leader of the Black Student Union with her own radio show, ‘Dear White People,’ where she attempts to illuminate, challenge, and educate her fellow classmates on matters of race.

Each episode focuses on a key character that populates the black residence hall, Armstrong Parker, including Sam, Lionel, Troy, Coco, Reggie, and Gabe (Joelle better get her ep in S2). With a cold open before chapter title reveal, wallpaper treatment hasn’t looked this good since Garden State. The outspoken Sam leads the revolution and episode one. Lionel Higgens (DeRon Horton) follows as he struggles to find his voice in both the black and gay communities. Troy Fairbanks (Brandon P. Bell) balances the expectations of being the perfect black leader with being a regular guy who likes women, video games (his ‘turrets’ while gaming is hilarious), and relieving stress through quick bathroom hits of marijuana. Colandrea “Coco” Conners (Antoinette Robertson) is conflicted between fitting in, escaping her past, and being herself. Reggie Green (Marque Richardson) is ready to lead the revolution until the revolution grabs him by the throat and thwarts him into the spotlight.

Beautifully shot, beautifully styled, and beautifully lit, the show is well written with pop references bouncing off every scene to this fangirl’s delight. Funny and witty, pop culture abounds with conflicted feelings of liking The Cosby Show, the difference between Dion and Stacey Dash, ‘nothing after Clueless matters,’ the challenges of becoming Insta legit, the virtues of waist thin ass thick, and the irresistibility of Gosling eyes. On top of all those references is the epicenter of black college life at Winchester, Defamation Wednesdays, where all the characters gather to watch a parody of Shonda Rhimes’ Scandal. The students cheer and jeer in outrage at the protagonist’s often questionable choices.

As our ‘ethnic but non-threatening’ narrator explains, there’s a lot more going on than meets the eye. Justin Simien attempts to both entertain and educate viewers, and he succeeds on both fonts earning Dear White People a rare 100 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. While his stories are far from my experiences, there’s lessons to be learned, empathy to be gained and razor sharp intelligence and wit to be admired. Netflix announced the show will return for season two, I for one, will be enrolling, you should too.

Gilmore Girls Revival, Part 2...Is This Thing On??

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Warner Bros. Television, Netflix

This morning's water cooler conversations featured recaps of the holiday weekend and Gilmore Girls reboot, A Year in the Life. I told my coworkers about my live tweeting throughout the four part series. They all went silent knowing my anti-social network proclivities. Let me sidebar by saying, social channels are like credit cards, they all do some version of the same thing. Why do you need to have all of them? Why do I need multiple cards from the likes of JC Penny, JCrew, and Bed, Bath and Beyond, when Visa does the same thing from a much lighter wallet? Why do I need to spend all my time updating all the channels when just a few will do?

Back to live tweeting. So no, I did not live tweet. I live texted which does not sound nearly as fun or dynamic. But for the benefit of one generous soul in Florida, and to make space in my head beyond the rants, expletives, and exclamation marks, I live tweeted my damn Stars Hallow heart out.

Admittedly, I put a lot of expectations onto the shoulders of the Gilmore Girls four part mini -series, A Year in the Life including – returning to the warm, fuzzy feeling of my beloved Stars Hallow, being dazzled by Lorelai with her rapid fire pace, getting swept away in crispness and magic of the holidays, and simultaneously escaping and saving 2016. So yeah, a lot of build up, and a long way to fall with disappointment.

The rants, expletives, and exclamation marks below have been modified from the original live tweet to protect the not so innocent, yours truly. Let’s get this not-so-live-tweeting debacle going:

WINTER
Minute 1 Review: I’m hopeful.
Not really into the barrage of VOs on black but will let it pass.
A serif font with snowflakes falling on black. Open as we drop into the town square of Stars Hallow, much like the pilot. Nice touch.
Minute 2 Review: Lauren Graham is the best. She had me at coffee and tacos...though tacos in Stars Hallow???...wait, that coffee isn't from Lukes! Keeping calm...keeping calm...
Minute 9 Review: What’s with all the fancy camera work, roving cameras everywhere! When did the Gilmore kitchen become a set from a sitcom! Bah! This will be my undoing.
Minute 27 Review: Yes to Michel, no to rando cameos, I don’t care how good his BBQ is.
Minute 30 Review: I miss the late '90's, early '00's sheen of OG Gilmore Girls. Now it's too bright and digital, and the camera work got way too fancy. No escapism yet. 2016 still sucks donkey butt. A Year in the Life is giving me the mirage of home but leaving me standing where I started – in the soulless, frigid air of 2016.
I am SO palette cleansing with Season 1 after this. I need a good dose of OG Stars Hallow.
SUMMARY: 2016 still blows BQ Corn Nuts.

SPRING
Minute 9 Review: Sasha please come back, preferably with Roman and without a pea green set.
Minute 30 Review: WHO STYLED LORELAI?!!! I’m choking on sundresses!! If Cher couldn’t turn back time, I don't know why I thought the townsfolk of Stars Hallow could.
Onward, I have a binge watch to muster through.
MORE SUNDRESSES!!! BLASPHEMY!!!
Minute 31 Review: Kirk's styling as Eraserhead’s Henry Spencer is a positive standout.
Minute 36 Review: More cameos, I can’t even.
Minute 50 Review, a boiling firestorm: Two episodes and TWO mentions of Lena Dunham?! Are you f'ing kidding me?! F this noise. How is Brooklyn invading my fair Stars Hallow?? What is happening here?? Paris, you don't need an empty briefcase and you don’t need Lena Dunham.
SUMMARY: If they mention LD again, I may have to buy a new computer after throwing this one across the room.

SUMMER
Saying a silent prayer for the life of my computer.
Minute 2 Review: Naturally, as a native of Florida, I am not a fan of summer, and as at it turns out, not a fan of summer in Stars Hallow either, fills me with ‘Korean vitriol.’
Who knew Stars Hallow had a municipal pool?! It is never summer in Stars Hallow – that's one of the reasons I like it so much!! This ill lit blast from the past is drenching me in sunlight and ruining coffee! I don’t know how, but they’re ruining coffee!! Ah, I hate summer!
Minute 8 Review: What is Lorelai wearing?? I can't look.
I really don't like cameos. They worked in Pulp Fiction and that's it. Cameos are the ultimate shark-shaped crutch. I want to spend as much time with the core characters and in the core world/town I love so much. I don't need to go to New York or California or the UK, I'm trying make this Stars Hallow moment last as long as possible but ASP, you keep whisking me away! Stop whisking, I don't need to be whisked!
Minute 20 Review: OMFG THESE DRESSES!!
Minute 25 Review: Yes to secret bars, no to more rando cameos.
There’s a musical scene for a play about Stars Hallow. I am going for the tomatoes. F this noise. 10 minutes on the faux musical scene!!!!!
I hate 2016.
The musical scene went on for 8 more minutes!!
SUMMARY: F Episode 3, SUMMER – the season, the sundresses, the musicals, the fights, the sadness and the predictable direction for Rory and her writing. Augh, SUMMER, you’re so 2016.

FALL
Fall is a much more Gilmore Girls appropriate season. Sundresses have been shredded in favor of denim and flannel shirts. YES!
The original TV show had the benefit of speed to market with cultural references, where A Year in the Life feels a little late to the Marie Kondo/Cheryl Strayed Wild party. Though I do find book vs movie identifiers amusing.
Yes to Bunhead alums, no to parenthood alums. No offense, just want to keep it pure in ASP family.
Minute 10 Review: What kind of world is it where Jesse the bright, rational spot, giving everyone advice and ridding Luke's diner of the Wi-Fi dead??
Minute 20 Review: A Beatles musical number. So that’s where the reboot budget went. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride or no, I’m about to throw myself off my bed.
Minute 40 Review: Lauren Graham brings it. She’s in it! I want Stars Hallow to be in it as well?! Bring it people! That is all I ask.
Minute 55 Review: Celeb rag headlines – Katy Perry and the nunnery. Oh hi reality, I missed you not at all. Not one damn bit.
I don’t know what is more frustrating – all the name dropping or whoever costumed Lorelai.
Minute 60 Review: Emily Gilmore just cursed! she said ‘Bullshit!!’ Whao. Where is my dreamy Stars Hallow?! Ah! Though, this is one change, I might support.
Oooo! Buffy reference, 'five by five.' Now you're speakin' my language.
Closing Review: Dayyyyyyuuuummmm. OH NO THEY DIDN’T.

Overall, our Gilmore Girls, Lorelai, Rory, and Emily, are all at differing stages of mourning, longing and lost. Fortunately for all of us, Michel was completely on point to provide much needed levity and continuity, independent of the names dropping around him. By the last scene one can only hope that all three ladies will gracefully find the way to their next chapters with Emily leading from her new home in Nantucket, complete with a new take on the Friday night dinner arrangement with Lorelai.

As promised, the series ended with those last four words ASP had planned so long ago. I wonder if she knew how much those four words would have affected her devoted audience. I wonder if she knew how much, no matter how disgruntled, that devoted audience would be begging for more.

That's it for the live tweeting. Signing off, Twitterverse, or however you'd like to identify yourself. For a less live tweeting, more sensible review of the mini-series, though no less disgruntled, please see the previous post.

Gilmore Girls Revival, Part 1...Bummer. You Really Can't Go Home Again.

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Warner Bros. Television, Netflix

Let me start by saying this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. When truly excited about an upcoming movie or TV show, I go on a blackout – no articles, trailers, or photos prior to viewing. In preparation for Gilmore Girls, A Year in the Life, I avoided all coverage of the new season, and avoided everything from the Amy Sherman-Palladino back catalog including the original Gilmore Girls and Bunheads. 

Sure these reboots are usually fraught with disappointment inciting fans to launch hate grenades in defense of the original, once beloved shows. And time is rarely kind to our TV heroes, even Veronica Mars had a hard time convincing us that she returned to be a detective, now without the charm of being a detective in high school.

During its seven season run, one of the greatest gifts Gilmore Girls gave us was the gift of place. Stars Hallow became our home, our town with Miss Patty’s School of Ballet, Doose’s Market, Weston’s Bakery, Kim’s Antiques, Gypsy’s Garage, and Luke’s Diner. Each shop set with their own three dimensional warmth, charm, and authenticity. That's where I longed to return. However, within eight minutes of the reboot, A Year in the Life, two things were abundantly clear, 1. Nostalgia is the enemy and 2. We wouldn't be going home again. The technical details failed to recapture the heart of the show. The Gilmore Girls' kitchen was  blown out with so much light that the scene appeared flat, like an old sitcom – the refrigerator full of reflections, and the cabinets illuminated like a showroom. From there, for me, the whole thing fell apart. This summation may seem harsh, but if I can't get lost in a place, I won't get lost in the story. 

While lighting was the greatest distraction in the reboot, Lorelai's styling came in second. So many floral dresses, so many floral details, all the way to the final scene with a white silk flower at her hip. While I know her best in the Fall and Winter months, covered in florals doesn't ring true to the Lorelai in my head. It could be that I previously did not have to experience Stars Hallow in the Summer, one of its many former charms. 

As for the storytelling, the two shortcomings above made it impossible to fully get lost in Stars Hallow 2016. However, the writers treated the loss of Edward Herrmann with great dignity and respect, and naturally led to where the women are in this moment, a bit unmoored with themselves and with one another, and for Lorelai in particular, feeling their mortality. For the most part, they handled it well. I could have done without seeing Luke's daughter again, nor the 18 minute musical interlude, nor did I need to travel to London and New York so much, for change of scenery, I'd much prefer a visit to the secret bar with Hep Alien's musical stylings. The original series had the excitement and momentum of forging your own way, where the return with A Year in the Life is the feeling of loss once you get there. Maybe that's why it's often so uncomfortable to watch, these Gilmore Girls, nine years later, even with bad lighting and covered in florals, are still all too relatable.

Willing Lightning to Strike Twice

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Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, ABC Family Original Productions, Disney-ABC Domestic Television

In anticipation of the Gilmore Girls’ return to the screen courtesy of Netflix, I decided to go through the Amy Sherman-Palladino back catalog.  Bunheads is the story of a former American Ballet Academy dancer, now showgirl who, at the end of her Las Vegas rope, accepts the marriage proposal of an admirer. He entices her with his view of the beach from his house in Paradise, California. There, his mom runs a dance academy where our hero, Michelle, befriends the restless, boy crazy bunheads who make up the senior dance troupe. As the show progresses, Michelle continues to grow as an inspiration and confidant to the girls, and in Paradise, she finds a sense of belonging and purpose.

The 2012 Amy Sherman-Palladino vehicle has memorable characters and a great deal of charm. As a Gilmore Girls fan, I was psyched to have another show from the ASP team to devour. However, I was split as to how Bunheads ranked next to it's predecessor. I wanted Bunheads to succeed on it's own and not rely on tropes that came before. But I am split. So here's the best of Bunheads and also the things I continue to reimagine – not least is their denied second and third seasons.

TOP FIVE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT BUNHEADS
1.   The four Bunheads Boo, Mel, Ginny and queen, Sasha.
2.  The great friendships Among the bunheads themselves, Michelle and fellow showgirl, Talia, Truly and Fanny. But the best relationship was between Sasha and Michelle. Left behind by her family, Sasha leaned on Michelle, and Michelle, still reluctant to be an adult, let her.
3. The familiar Gilmore Girls' faces Kelly Bishop, once Mamma Gilmore, now Fanny Flowers, Kirk, now coffee extraordinaire, Sebastian, and Paris, now money-loving Milly, the Taylor Doose of the show.
4.  The set design The Bunheads characters had plenty of charming places in the made up town of Paradise to meet including Fanny's house, the dance studio, the dressing room, Michelle’s cabin, Sparkles Dress Shop, and The Oyster Bar where Boo worked.
5.  The plentiful pop references Ferris Bueller's police station scene with Jeanie and Charlie Sheen was reimagined at Paradise Hospital with Sasha and Roman. In the same episode, Dead Poet's Society, Oh Captain, My Captain, was recreated by the ballet troupe. If that weren't enough, dance performances were set to such acts as Tom Waits' Picture in a Frame, They Might Be Giants' Instabul (Not Constantinople), and Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet.

TOP FIVE THINGS I'D CHANGE ABOUT BUNHEADS
1. The show's name The name Bunheads is a little inside even for a former ballet student (however begrudging) like me. I'd prefer to celebrate the name of the studio, Paradise Dance Academy. Bonus points for a great hashtag, #PDA.
2. The opening credits and typography If the name and opening credits has to stay the same, the font must change. It’s too small, girly and precious. It's tight and insulated when it should be wide and open, like it's dancing across the screen, confident, exploring, and ready for anything. 
3.  The music Bunheads uses the exact twangy musical track and “la la las" used in Gilmore Girls. That soundtrack belongs on the streets of Stars Hallow, not Paradise, California. I find this confusing and borderline infuriating. Bunheads deserved it's own soundtrack, to stand uniquely on its own. Which brings me to...
4. The language As a Gilmore Girls fan, there is only one fast talking brunette I want to hear and that is Lorelai Gilmore. I have no need for an impression of her. Michelle didn't need to be a confusing, rapid-fire, fast talker, that's not authentic to her. Michelle is world-weary, street-smart and snarky, she has her own take, she didn't need to walk in anyone's shoes. My favorite Bunheads moments are the ones that don't rely on Gilmore Girls tropes and music. 
5.  The storyline of Michelle's brother. And her mother too.

TOP FIVE THINGS I'D LIKE TO SEE IN BUNHEADS' SO RUDELY DENIED SEASON 2
1. Millicent Stone Performance Center opening night
2. Quality time in Sasha’s apartment Maybe even Sunday night dinners with Michelle so Sasha can feel like she has family around who are interested in her and her home
3. The evolution of Sasha and Roman
4. The comic relief and sweetness that is Boo and Carl
5. The fallout with Ginny Mel would most def have her friend's back. Maybe Ginny would try to take out her anger and disappointment on the roller derby track.

For the one season wonder that it was, it was a good show not only about the triple threat talent that is Sutton Foster but also about a group of girls leaving the safety and comfort of childhood and girlhood for the more treacherous waters of adolescence. The four Bunheads of different shapes and sizes, talents, interests, and comfort-level with boys, were all exploring, but their love of ballet that was the pink, satin ribbon that kept them tethered together.

Lost In Translation & Syndication

Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Disney-ABC Domestic Television, Sony Pictures Television Distribution

My heart is on a roller coaster ride with music licensing, tortured by love with limits. I've fangirled Alexandra Patsavas who has sprinkled her musical fairy all dust over my favorite tv shows and I've given props to binge watching outlets like Netflix. All should be right and peaceful in my dreamy-eyed, fangirling, pop culture kingdom. Instead, I am heartbroken, surrounded by empty boxes of chocolates and a slew of expired music licensing agreements. Innocently re-watching familiar episodes, I'm shocked to realize I no longer know all the words.

The greatest casualties of expired music licensing agreements are shows from the 80's and 90's. Unfortunately, they fell victim to a lack of foresight. They couldn't see the digital and streaming tidal wave headed towards them. Here’s some top let downs of that gross misstep – remember I warned you of the low brow:

ALIAS Season 2, Episode 5, the closing track was once Joni Mitchell’s River is now…it just doesn’t matter, it’s not Joni Mitchell. Our hero, Sydney walks in the rain after being absolutely devastated by her father. When set to Joni Mitchell, this scene once leveled me, now I’m completely detached, the arrangement doesn't match nearly as well.

21 JUMP STREET Season 3, Episode 9, the closing track was once once Blind Faith’s Can’t Find My Way Home is now an empty instrumental. I specifically looked up this episode a few month’s ago, must have been on a Johnny Depp tear. I remember the scene as hard hitting with the track, but upon finding it with the new instrumental, I hardly recognized it. In fact I kept searching for the right scene before realizing I had already passed it.

FELICITY Season 1 Episode 11, once Ella Fitzgerald’s Wishing You A Swinging Christmas, is now the Swingtips’ Santa Swings. This holidays/finals cram session episode was especially fun featuring tracks entirely from the Ella Fitzgerald album – the best damn holiday album ever (close tie is A Charlie Brown Christmas). The episode zipped and crackled to Ella’s playfully festive beats. I purchased the album immediately after watching and ever since, it has been a holiday staple at family gatherings.
I recently referenced this episode, so I had to do a little digging to reacquaint myself. I was highly disappointed to find the tracks had been replaced – no zip, no crackle – just some holiday tracks to check off the holiday box.

DAWSON’S CREEK Holy crap. This is the worse offender – yes, dear reader, I know, in many ways. The music license for – not just a mere episode or scene – the music license for the theme song expired. The Paula Cole 90’s hit, synonymous with Dawson’s Creek, I Don’t Want To Wait, is now only used in the two-part series finale. The rest of the six season series opens with a featherweight track, Run Like Mad by Jann Arden. I can't even get through the new opening credits. And I can't believe new viewers will never know the simultaneous love and torture that is Paula Cole's I Don't Want to Wait. Sure it bore it's way into my ears like a virus, but that doesn't mean it doesn't belong in lockstep with Dawson, Pacey, Joey, and Jen!
Other shows that lost their theme songs: Charmed and The Andy Griffith Show

I mean no disrespect to the artists whose tracks now replace the originals. But I'm a purist and I have memories with the original tracks. To distort those with something else, as if I wouldn’t notice, is ludicrous. 

When it comes to music licensing let's take this relationship to the next level – in perpetuity. Music often provides the words we can't bring ourselves to say. Same goes for our favorite TV characters. To change the track, is to take away their words. All meaning of a scene gets evaporated and all we're left with is a pretty picture. While pictures in the 80's and 90's were pretty, I'd much rather them be accompanied by their gut wrenching, musical counterparts. Help me put down this box of chocolates and restore our friends of yore to their original music and artistic intention. Come on people, I don't want to wait.