Gilmore Girls Revival, Part 2...Is This Thing On??

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Warner Bros. Television, Netflix

This morning's water cooler conversations featured recaps of the holiday weekend and Gilmore Girls reboot, A Year in the Life. I told my coworkers about my live tweeting throughout the four part series. They all went silent knowing my anti-social network proclivities. Let me sidebar by saying, social channels are like credit cards, they all do some version of the same thing. Why do you need to have all of them? Why do I need multiple cards from the likes of JC Penny, JCrew, and Bed, Bath and Beyond, when Visa does the same thing from a much lighter wallet? Why do I need to spend all my time updating all the channels when just a few will do?

Back to live tweeting. So no, I did not live tweet. I live texted which does not sound nearly as fun or dynamic. But for the benefit of one generous soul in Florida, and to make space in my head beyond the rants, expletives, and exclamation marks, I live tweeted my damn Stars Hallow heart out.

Admittedly, I put a lot of expectations onto the shoulders of the Gilmore Girls four part mini -series, A Year in the Life including – returning to the warm, fuzzy feeling of my beloved Stars Hallow, being dazzled by Lorelai with her rapid fire pace, getting swept away in crispness and magic of the holidays, and simultaneously escaping and saving 2016. So yeah, a lot of build up, and a long way to fall with disappointment.

The rants, expletives, and exclamation marks below have been modified from the original live tweet to protect the not so innocent, yours truly. Let’s get this not-so-live-tweeting debacle going:

WINTER
Minute 1 Review: I’m hopeful.
Not really into the barrage of VOs on black but will let it pass.
A serif font with snowflakes falling on black. Open as we drop into the town square of Stars Hallow, much like the pilot. Nice touch.
Minute 2 Review: Lauren Graham is the best. She had me at coffee and tacos...though tacos in Stars Hallow???...wait, that coffee isn't from Lukes! Keeping calm...keeping calm...
Minute 9 Review: What’s with all the fancy camera work, roving cameras everywhere! When did the Gilmore kitchen become a set from a sitcom! Bah! This will be my undoing.
Minute 27 Review: Yes to Michel, no to rando cameos, I don’t care how good his BBQ is.
Minute 30 Review: I miss the late '90's, early '00's sheen of OG Gilmore Girls. Now it's too bright and digital, and the camera work got way too fancy. No escapism yet. 2016 still sucks donkey butt. A Year in the Life is giving me the mirage of home but leaving me standing where I started – in the soulless, frigid air of 2016.
I am SO palette cleansing with Season 1 after this. I need a good dose of OG Stars Hallow.
SUMMARY: 2016 still blows BQ Corn Nuts.

SPRING
Minute 9 Review: Sasha please come back, preferably with Roman and without a pea green set.
Minute 30 Review: WHO STYLED LORELAI?!!! I’m choking on sundresses!! If Cher couldn’t turn back time, I don't know why I thought the townsfolk of Stars Hallow could.
Onward, I have a binge watch to muster through.
MORE SUNDRESSES!!! BLASPHEMY!!!
Minute 31 Review: Kirk's styling as Eraserhead’s Henry Spencer is a positive standout.
Minute 36 Review: More cameos, I can’t even.
Minute 50 Review, a boiling firestorm: Two episodes and TWO mentions of Lena Dunham?! Are you f'ing kidding me?! F this noise. How is Brooklyn invading my fair Stars Hallow?? What is happening here?? Paris, you don't need an empty briefcase and you don’t need Lena Dunham.
SUMMARY: If they mention LD again, I may have to buy a new computer after throwing this one across the room.

SUMMER
Saying a silent prayer for the life of my computer.
Minute 2 Review: Naturally, as a native of Florida, I am not a fan of summer, and as at it turns out, not a fan of summer in Stars Hallow either, fills me with ‘Korean vitriol.’
Who knew Stars Hallow had a municipal pool?! It is never summer in Stars Hallow – that's one of the reasons I like it so much!! This ill lit blast from the past is drenching me in sunlight and ruining coffee! I don’t know how, but they’re ruining coffee!! Ah, I hate summer!
Minute 8 Review: What is Lorelai wearing?? I can't look.
I really don't like cameos. They worked in Pulp Fiction and that's it. Cameos are the ultimate shark-shaped crutch. I want to spend as much time with the core characters and in the core world/town I love so much. I don't need to go to New York or California or the UK, I'm trying make this Stars Hallow moment last as long as possible but ASP, you keep whisking me away! Stop whisking, I don't need to be whisked!
Minute 20 Review: OMFG THESE DRESSES!!
Minute 25 Review: Yes to secret bars, no to more rando cameos.
There’s a musical scene for a play about Stars Hallow. I am going for the tomatoes. F this noise. 10 minutes on the faux musical scene!!!!!
I hate 2016.
The musical scene went on for 8 more minutes!!
SUMMARY: F Episode 3, SUMMER – the season, the sundresses, the musicals, the fights, the sadness and the predictable direction for Rory and her writing. Augh, SUMMER, you’re so 2016.

FALL
Fall is a much more Gilmore Girls appropriate season. Sundresses have been shredded in favor of denim and flannel shirts. YES!
The original TV show had the benefit of speed to market with cultural references, where A Year in the Life feels a little late to the Marie Kondo/Cheryl Strayed Wild party. Though I do find book vs movie identifiers amusing.
Yes to Bunhead alums, no to parenthood alums. No offense, just want to keep it pure in ASP family.
Minute 10 Review: What kind of world is it where Jesse the bright, rational spot, giving everyone advice and ridding Luke's diner of the Wi-Fi dead??
Minute 20 Review: A Beatles musical number. So that’s where the reboot budget went. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride or no, I’m about to throw myself off my bed.
Minute 40 Review: Lauren Graham brings it. She’s in it! I want Stars Hallow to be in it as well?! Bring it people! That is all I ask.
Minute 55 Review: Celeb rag headlines – Katy Perry and the nunnery. Oh hi reality, I missed you not at all. Not one damn bit.
I don’t know what is more frustrating – all the name dropping or whoever costumed Lorelai.
Minute 60 Review: Emily Gilmore just cursed! she said ‘Bullshit!!’ Whao. Where is my dreamy Stars Hallow?! Ah! Though, this is one change, I might support.
Oooo! Buffy reference, 'five by five.' Now you're speakin' my language.
Closing Review: Dayyyyyyuuuummmm. OH NO THEY DIDN’T.

Overall, our Gilmore Girls, Lorelai, Rory, and Emily, are all at differing stages of mourning, longing and lost. Fortunately for all of us, Michel was completely on point to provide much needed levity and continuity, independent of the names dropping around him. By the last scene one can only hope that all three ladies will gracefully find the way to their next chapters with Emily leading from her new home in Nantucket, complete with a new take on the Friday night dinner arrangement with Lorelai.

As promised, the series ended with those last four words ASP had planned so long ago. I wonder if she knew how much those four words would have affected her devoted audience. I wonder if she knew how much, no matter how disgruntled, that devoted audience would be begging for more.

That's it for the live tweeting. Signing off, Twitterverse, or however you'd like to identify yourself. For a less live tweeting, more sensible review of the mini-series, though no less disgruntled, please see the previous post.

Gilmore Girls Revival, Part 1...Bummer. You Really Can't Go Home Again.

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Warner Bros. Television, Netflix

Let me start by saying this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. When truly excited about an upcoming movie or TV show, I go on a blackout – no articles, trailers, or photos prior to viewing. In preparation for Gilmore Girls, A Year in the Life, I avoided all coverage of the new season, and avoided everything from the Amy Sherman-Palladino back catalog including the original Gilmore Girls and Bunheads. 

Sure these reboots are usually fraught with disappointment inciting fans to launch hate grenades in defense of the original, once beloved shows. And time is rarely kind to our TV heroes, even Veronica Mars had a hard time convincing us that she returned to be a detective, now without the charm of being a detective in high school.

During its seven season run, one of the greatest gifts Gilmore Girls gave us was the gift of place. Stars Hallow became our home, our town with Miss Patty’s School of Ballet, Doose’s Market, Weston’s Bakery, Kim’s Antiques, Gypsy’s Garage, and Luke’s Diner. Each shop set with their own three dimensional warmth, charm, and authenticity. That's where I longed to return. However, within eight minutes of the reboot, A Year in the Life, two things were abundantly clear, 1. Nostalgia is the enemy and 2. We wouldn't be going home again. The technical details failed to recapture the heart of the show. The Gilmore Girls' kitchen was  blown out with so much light that the scene appeared flat, like an old sitcom – the refrigerator full of reflections, and the cabinets illuminated like a showroom. From there, for me, the whole thing fell apart. This summation may seem harsh, but if I can't get lost in a place, I won't get lost in the story. 

While lighting was the greatest distraction in the reboot, Lorelai's styling came in second. So many floral dresses, so many floral details, all the way to the final scene with a white silk flower at her hip. While I know her best in the Fall and Winter months, covered in florals doesn't ring true to the Lorelai in my head. It could be that I previously did not have to experience Stars Hallow in the Summer, one of its many former charms. 

As for the storytelling, the two shortcomings above made it impossible to fully get lost in Stars Hallow 2016. However, the writers treated the loss of Edward Herrmann with great dignity and respect, and naturally led to where the women are in this moment, a bit unmoored with themselves and with one another, and for Lorelai in particular, feeling their mortality. For the most part, they handled it well. I could have done without seeing Luke's daughter again, nor the 18 minute musical interlude, nor did I need to travel to London and New York so much, for change of scenery, I'd much prefer a visit to the secret bar with Hep Alien's musical stylings. The original series had the excitement and momentum of forging your own way, where the return with A Year in the Life is the feeling of loss once you get there. Maybe that's why it's often so uncomfortable to watch, these Gilmore Girls, nine years later, even with bad lighting and covered in florals, are still all too relatable.

Willing Lightning to Strike Twice

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Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, ABC Family Original Productions, Disney-ABC Domestic Television

In anticipation of the Gilmore Girls’ return to the screen courtesy of Netflix, I decided to go through the Amy Sherman-Palladino back catalog.  Bunheads is the story of a former American Ballet Academy dancer, now showgirl who, at the end of her Las Vegas rope, accepts the marriage proposal of an admirer. He entices her with his view of the beach from his house in Paradise, California. There, his mom runs a dance academy where our hero, Michelle, befriends the restless, boy crazy bunheads who make up the senior dance troupe. As the show progresses, Michelle continues to grow as an inspiration and confidant to the girls, and in Paradise, she finds a sense of belonging and purpose.

The 2012 Amy Sherman-Palladino vehicle has memorable characters and a great deal of charm. As a Gilmore Girls fan, I was psyched to have another show from the ASP team to devour. However, I was split as to how Bunheads ranked next to it's predecessor. I wanted Bunheads to succeed on it's own and not rely on tropes that came before. But I am split. So here's the best of Bunheads and also the things I continue to reimagine – not least is their denied second and third seasons.

TOP FIVE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT BUNHEADS
1.   The four Bunheads Boo, Mel, Ginny and queen, Sasha.
2.  The great friendships Among the bunheads themselves, Michelle and fellow showgirl, Talia, Truly and Fanny. But the best relationship was between Sasha and Michelle. Left behind by her family, Sasha leaned on Michelle, and Michelle, still reluctant to be an adult, let her.
3. The familiar Gilmore Girls' faces Kelly Bishop, once Mamma Gilmore, now Fanny Flowers, Kirk, now coffee extraordinaire, Sebastian, and Paris, now money-loving Milly, the Taylor Doose of the show.
4.  The set design The Bunheads characters had plenty of charming places in the made up town of Paradise to meet including Fanny's house, the dance studio, the dressing room, Michelle’s cabin, Sparkles Dress Shop, and The Oyster Bar where Boo worked.
5.  The plentiful pop references Ferris Bueller's police station scene with Jeanie and Charlie Sheen was reimagined at Paradise Hospital with Sasha and Roman. In the same episode, Dead Poet's Society, Oh Captain, My Captain, was recreated by the ballet troupe. If that weren't enough, dance performances were set to such acts as Tom Waits' Picture in a Frame, They Might Be Giants' Instabul (Not Constantinople), and Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet.

TOP FIVE THINGS I'D CHANGE ABOUT BUNHEADS
1. The show's name The name Bunheads is a little inside even for a former ballet student (however begrudging) like me. I'd prefer to celebrate the name of the studio, Paradise Dance Academy. Bonus points for a great hashtag, #PDA.
2. The opening credits and typography If the name and opening credits has to stay the same, the font must change. It’s too small, girly and precious. It's tight and insulated when it should be wide and open, like it's dancing across the screen, confident, exploring, and ready for anything. 
3.  The music Bunheads uses the exact twangy musical track and “la la las" used in Gilmore Girls. That soundtrack belongs on the streets of Stars Hallow, not Paradise, California. I find this confusing and borderline infuriating. Bunheads deserved it's own soundtrack, to stand uniquely on its own. Which brings me to...
4. The language As a Gilmore Girls fan, there is only one fast talking brunette I want to hear and that is Lorelai Gilmore. I have no need for an impression of her. Michelle didn't need to be a confusing, rapid-fire, fast talker, that's not authentic to her. Michelle is world-weary, street-smart and snarky, she has her own take, she didn't need to walk in anyone's shoes. My favorite Bunheads moments are the ones that don't rely on Gilmore Girls tropes and music. 
5.  The storyline of Michelle's brother. And her mother too.

TOP FIVE THINGS I'D LIKE TO SEE IN BUNHEADS' SO RUDELY DENIED SEASON 2
1. Millicent Stone Performance Center opening night
2. Quality time in Sasha’s apartment Maybe even Sunday night dinners with Michelle so Sasha can feel like she has family around who are interested in her and her home
3. The evolution of Sasha and Roman
4. The comic relief and sweetness that is Boo and Carl
5. The fallout with Ginny Mel would most def have her friend's back. Maybe Ginny would try to take out her anger and disappointment on the roller derby track.

For the one season wonder that it was, it was a good show not only about the triple threat talent that is Sutton Foster but also about a group of girls leaving the safety and comfort of childhood and girlhood for the more treacherous waters of adolescence. The four Bunheads of different shapes and sizes, talents, interests, and comfort-level with boys, were all exploring, but their love of ballet that was the pink, satin ribbon that kept them tethered together.

By The Slice And To My Heart

Warner Bros. Television Distribution, NBC Universal Television Distribution

My pizza-lovin, first slice of the day, blizzards-be-damned, former New Yorker self is aghast with this hair-brained vegan scheme. My former New Yorker self is pissed and throwing down an absolutely crass series of expletives. In such times of inward, albeit loud, reflection, I turn to TV. Hardly of any comfort, pizza is the meal my favorite characters gather around in solidarity, celebration, and even hibernation ­– from pizza night with Rory and Lorelai on Gilmore Girls, to Jimmy Fallon’s claim on the Tonight Show, to Friends and foosball.

I took great pride in my ability to work a slice much like working a slight of hand to hail a cab. Turning away from my beloved New York slice is like turning in the last of my New York credibility. Set on a wayward path of self-exploration, I resolved myself to frozen vegan pizzas or cardboard pizzas from the co-op deli. Until today. Today, on a Downtown jaunt, I decided to check out Pizzanista. The name pissed me off, but I figured if anywhere would have a good vegan slice, it would be Downtown.

Thanks to Pizzanista, I’m more resolved in this hair-brained vegan scheme. Pizzanista armed me with a grilled veggie vegan slice with a crust so thin, crunchy and delicious, vegan cheese takes a backseat to the taste sensation reminiscent of my New York days. Because while my walks along Bleecker Street to Joe's By The Slice will always have its place in my heart, I’m finally ready to walk somewhere new.